I Still Feel Like an Imposter

Although it’s been 9 years now since leaving my old world and the cult I was born into, I still feel like an outsider much of the time.

I have a good job, an amazing partner of 5 years and life is good. However, at times I look around and wonder what would people think of me if they knew the truth?

Would they still respect me and what I do if they knew I had no close family because I had to cut them off? Would they judge me for having 9 siblings and only being in touch with one of them and even that’s a recent development?

Would they think I was weak that I tolerated an abusive husband for 17 years? I hear people joke about how it could never happen to them and how do people stay with abusive people for so long?

And I want to scream and tell them that the woman sat opposite them was one of those “weak women”. But I know they would never understand me or believe me as I come across as “strong” so they feel safe talking that openly and judgementally to me.

It’s not often that I am able to share anything at all about my background. In fact I do my utmost to hide my identity from those around me.

But recently it’s become more challenging to keep these things secret. I’m scared of what people will think of me if they knew I was once a wig-wearing, skirt wearing, married as a teenager, Hasidic woman who had no voice and was abused for years.

I feel like a freaking imposter and I wonder when someone is gonna break my cover and people will find out who I really am… and what will they think…

#otd #religion #cult #hasidic

BBC1 Being Jewish

I just stumbled across this show on BBC IPlayer and am in middle of watching it now. If you get the opportunity to watch it, please do! It shows so many different forms of Judaism, and some things are truly eye-opening.

It’s not just about orthodox Jews, it shows converts, Reform Jews, and the rituals, celebrations, births, deaths, etc. There is so much to see that will make you smile, become educated, and sometimes cringe!! In general a great documentary.

#BBC #Iplayer #Judaism #Documentary #Support #London #UK #Synagogue #Rabbi #Lubavitch #Birth #Babies #circumcision #Brit #UK #Religion #Pride #wedding #celebration #covid19 #LGBT #Reform #Liberal #OrthodoxJews

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p096g916/being-series-1-4-jewish

A Positive Anecdote about a Hasidic man and kindness 💕

Taken from @hasidiminusa on Twitter. I love this!! We need more men like this in the world. People who give a damn about others. Thank you young man 💜

“The rain during yesterday’s shoot with brought me to an incredible, never seen before scene, and a moment of inspiration.

I had seen an enormous street puddle accumulated by the rain 20 minutes earlier, and decided to go back to that puddle hoping to capture some children playing in the puddle, but instead i saw a very bizarre scene.

A young Hasidic man in the the puddle in his shoes and clothes digging in and out the water with a snow shovel upside down 😮

After first snapping a few shots I asked him if he lost something there??
“NO i’m just trying to unclog the storm drain, so the old people can cross”

I was completely shocked by his response.
For a person to get down and dirty, get his shoes and clothes soaking wet in the dirty water so that strangers can cross!

It was a true moment of inspiration..

I’m so glad i was there to document this so I can share it with you all.”

How wonderful and how kind is this? I’ve never seen this before. I hope people can look at this and see there are people who are happy to do this to keep others safe.

#Hasidic #Jewish #Judaism #BeKind #Coronavirus #Covid19 #elderly #caring