Tell the World Johnny….

Heard openly mocked Depp for being a “victim of abuse”

Jurors also heard a recording of Heard allegedly pressuring Depp to come forward as a “victim of domestic violence” and suggesting he wouldn’t be believed.

“Tell the world, Johnny, tell them, Johnny Depp, I, Johnny Depp, a man, I’m a victim too of domestic violence,” Heard says, before going on to challenge him to “see how many people believe or side with you.”

Jurors were played recordings of fights, including one in which Heard admitted to “hitting” Depp.

“You didn’t get punched. You got hit. I’m sorry I hit you like this, but I did not punch you. I did not fucking deck you. I fucking was hitting you.”

Heard later apologized.

Heard testified that Depp got violent during their honeymoon in 2015, after an argument over his drinking.

“He would slam me up against the wall,” she said. She said she feared Depp would kill her.

A trip to Australia, where Depp was filming the fifth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise, featured prominently in the trial. Depp claimed his wife threw a vodka bottle at him, severing the top of his middle right finger. Heard claimed Depp sexually assaulted her with a whiskey bottle.

“It [was] so easy for him to throw me around,” Heard testified. Depp, she said, shoved a liquor bottle “inside of me over and over again” and “said he would kill me”.

If this actually happened she would have been in hospital. The stories she’s come out with are ludicrous and lacked credibility in my personal opinion.

For everyone saying that “Now that a jury has sided with Johnny Depp, advocates say the verdict could have a chilling effect on other survivors looking to speak out against their abusers.” I say this.

Stop speaking on behalf of women like myself who have been abused while in a relationship with my ex husband.I support Johnny Depp.

He was the victim. Women always fight to be believed. This will set us back because we will be asked if we are like Amber Heard. Heard and the ACLU demonised Depp without knowing any facts. Shameful.

FGM Regret By A Kenyan Circumciser…

Trigger Warning – FGM REGRET 🥺🥺🥺

Bi Swalehe Hawaa was a Kenyan circumciser for over 20 years and circumcised over 500 girls BUT now regrets what she did to those girls.

“It took me long to come around and actually believe that whatever I w

as engaging in was wrong, but when my own granddaughter died while at it, that was my turning point.”
Shufaa Alamini, another circumciser who practised since 1994, says she regrets all she ignorantly did, “I have done it on hundreds of girls and back then, I was just focused on how much I was making because my children needed to eat.”

Sorry but the fact that she just feels bad now that her own grandchild died due to FGM doesn’t make me have any sympathy for her. She ruined over 500 girls’ lives. What she did to those girls can never be undone. She has no heart. Period.

Anyone who can hear the heart wrenching screams of little girls as they’re mutilated, held down by women like Bi Swalehe Hawaa, has no heart. She only regretted it when her own granddaughter died. What about the 500+ girls she hurt in the worst way?

No amount of money should make anyone mutilate little girls. How did she watch countless girls being held down and physically mutilate them for life? I have read a lot about this and it’s one of the most difficult things I have looked into…

I wish I had something really powerful to write about this, but I can’t. This is painful to read about, painful to hear people’s experiences, and painful to talk to people living with the after affects of FGM…. I can only cry as I write this. That’s all.

#endFGM #Kenya #abuse #FemaleGenitalMutilation #girls #children #ChildAbuse #finance #pain #painful #scream #kids #Religion #FGM

My own Mother forgot about me 🥺😏

Trigger Warning ⚠️ losing contact with parents and siblings.

It’s been so long that my mother called me instead of calling her friend!! I can’t imagine phoning someone else instead of my own child…. just because we have the same first names!

Oh and yeah… thanks but no thanks for the invite. I’ve not seen “family” since 2015 so I’m assuming the Purim messages were sent to everyone and not to me in particular 😏🤷🏻‍♀️😳

Please, please, please do not tell me “It’s the thought that counts” or “isn’t it nice she’s invited you”? etc. No! Absolutely not.

If she genuinely cared about mending our relationship she would start off with an apology for the most disgusting names I was called. But as she said when I told her how much pain she caused me, her response was “I meant every word so I can’t apologise as I feel the same way. Nothing has changed.”

Sometimes unfortunately we have to think of our own mental health and start considering ourselves, and stop feeling guilty for things we didn’t do or for living our truth. If we don’t do that things can spiral out of control very quickly.

And sometimes someone does or says something that is so painful that we have to say I’ve done enough. I cannot keep being put through all of this anymore.

I don’t wish anyone any harm, and I wish things were different. But while I have no control over what others say and do, I can control whether I engage or remove toxic people from my life.

#abuse #parenting #mothersday #mum #daughter #survivor #love #pain #hasidic #purim #culture #judaism #name #phone #Error #dinner #fun

This Man Says He Hates Single Mothers and Explains Why

I came across this guy on social media as I was researching what drives certain people to do horrific things to their own partners and kids.

His video was titled “why I hate single mothers”. I won’t be posting a link to it as I don’t want to give him the attention he clearly craves. Feel free to look him up on YouTube.

Anyone who “hates single mothers” already has me feeling defensive as I am one. What he starts saying is good and he’s right that what happened to the Clarke-Baxton family, mum Hannah Clarke and her 3 kids, is beyond evil.

He goes on to say he thinks that single mothers are vulnerable and are attracted to men who are good looking but not good men. Therefore by doing that, it will end up in death and all that because of jealousy, jealousy, jealousy.

How does someone say this sort of thing without understanding the pain it will cause the families of murdered mothers like Hannah Clarke, Shannan Watts, Paul Newman, and too many more…

Why should anyone be forced to stay in an abusive marriage or relationship if they fear for their lives all the time? Single mothers are only single mothers because the fathers have either left the relationship, got a divorce or separation, had an affair, been abusive etc.

Let’s stop blaming the victims of these evil murdering scum and focus on the real issue here.

Domestic abuse needs to be taken more seriously and laws need to change to accommodate this level of evil and killings. Perhaps having more shelters when relationships are coming to an end may be a good start.

#hannahclarke #Shannan #murderers #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #shannanwatts #fire #babies #kids #singleparent #singlemothers #petrol #Killer #divorce

No One Will Ever Believe You..

“I’m gonna tell someone what you’re doing”
I said this as a child.
And again as an adult.
Too many times.

“No one is ever gonna believe you”
They know that this is the likelihood.
They were right.
I wasn’t believed.

I still get messages from people from my old life back in the cult saying that I am a terrible person for leaving him.
And it’s always the same thing.

“He is such a good man.
How could you do that to him?”.

They don’t know.
They weren’t there.
How can they judge me?

I’ll never stop speaking out, however difficult it is.

One day I will be believed.
One day they will stop and realise it wasn’t me.
I wasn’t hurting my spouse or terrifying my kids.
That wasn’t me.

They always tell you you won’t be believed.
This doesn’t bother me anymore.
I know whatever I write is the truth.

One day I’ll be believed.

#domesticabusesurvivor #unorthodox #OTD #BelieveMe #metoomovement #ChildAbuse #sexualabuse #cult #Judaism #abuseawareness

The Biggest Mistake I Made Was Getting Involved With A Narcissist…

I wrote this back in October 2017 but didn’t feel comfortable sharing it. Now is the time to do so – however difficult it is.

A very honest post which many of you will no doubt relate to.

I posted a while ago about a LDR I was involved in. I explained how he would call me repeatedly and expect answers as to why I didn’t pick up the phone. Saying “I was busy” never satisfied him.

Many of you replied saying run and red flag alert.

However I didn’t.

Stupid I know. But a part of me hoped he loved me enough to change and give me space.

I was wrong.

I have now found out there are things he lied to me about which I obviously wouldn’t find out as the LDR thing means he was able to hide basic things from me.

He knew I had suffered domestic abuse for 17 years and he promised he would never hurt me in any way.

I want to explain what happened over the past few months.

He expected me to stay on the phone to him for many many hours a day. The average time we would be on the phone would be around 8 hours a day or more. When I hung up he would then text me repeatedly how much he loved me and couldn’t live without me.

Stupidly I fell for his bullshit imagining this may be my happily ever after….

He said it was because he loved me so much and couldn’t live without me.

He wanted to “fall asleep with me” every night. That meant I had to be on the phone while we both fell asleep and in the mornings wake up to each others voice.

And then there was the insisting on phone sex. Often he tried to do it on video but I wouldn’t entertain that. Again this was because he loved me so much and if he couldn’t physically be intimate with me this was second best.

Yet again I fell for it.

He kept saying I love you. Over and over again. Maybe he was insecure. But although I was flattered at first it began to become a pressure.

As time went by things began to get too much for me. I had a check in with him the whole time, telling him where I was going and how long I would be.

He wanted to know everything about me. All my finances. My weight! Personal information etc. The list goes on.

Like I said at first I was flattered. Then I felt strangled. I wanted my space. I told him that and he sulked but tried to make changes. It was hard for him.

Then things started going wrong. He began to get frustrated at me for very small things. He didn’t like the way I spoke to him. Said I was too blunt. Said I was critical and never validated his feelings.

I knew I was not happy but he kept sucking me back in with his nice side. I kept going back. He made me cry so much every time he told me how I made him feel.

I tried to change. Be softer and nicer but things didn’t improve.

When we were physically together he wanted sex constantly. Definitely every night. “I have a high libido”.

“Sex is a 2 way street. We must both want it and then it will happen on its own. There shouldn’t be rules” I tried explaining to him.

“Okay if you’re not interested in sex and I am what can you do for me? Hand job? Blow job?”

Shocked. “I’m not a whore. If there’s love between us intimacy will happen organically” I said annoyed.

Things came to a head recently. He didn’t like something I said so totally blanked me for 2 days. No eye contact. No talking. Turned his back on me in bed. Walked 100 feet ahead of me in the street.

It was all too much.
I’d had enough.

I suddenly saw with clarity what he was like and at one point when we got to the airport I left him there and went home.

That was a few days ago. It’s been bloody painful. He’s blocked me on Facebook after I blocked him on watsapp. And that’s been the best thing.

Right now I’m trying to find myself again and get back to being me… without having to check in with anyone.

So thank you for all the advice you gave me back then and I fucking regret not listening. But now I’m done and am moving on.

#Narcissist #domesticabuse #sex #relationships #controlling

Being OTD – losing one’s loved ones….Today I made peace with the people who hurt me so deeply….. And our relationships are finished forever…. Read to Understand…..

​It’s taken so long

But today 


Just today 

I finally made peace…..

Peace with my life. 

Peace with my choices. 

Peace with my situation. 

Peace with being alienated

From those I used to love….

And I’m okay.

I really am…..

It’s taken so long

But i feel that 


I can breathe easier….

Today I feel a huge




I thought it would be painful 

And it was 


But now the doubts and 

The questions 

Are all over. 

I’m a survivor

And I’ve been to hell




But today I feel 

So freaking free

And it feels awesome…..

And it’s weird….

Cos I’ve been free


For a while

But today…

It’s deeper freedom…..


And I’m alright with it…..
Today I had my daughter’s

Bat Mitzva party

(a party when a girl turns 12)

And I knew I’d have to face 

The people who hurt me

The people who broke me

The people who kidnapped my 

Own daughter off me…..

I didn’t know how I’d face them….

But as a mum

There was no option. 

I had to be there

All 2 1/2 hours of it.

And it was hellish

Walking in….

I was fighting my tears

Holding back tightly

Choking back the pain

Threatening to suffocate me……

Looking around 

So many people

People I hadn’t seen in so long

People who caused me 

So much heartache

People who made me consider

Giving up

Thinking life wasn’t worth living

When I was in so much distress…..

How I walked in is beyond me….

But I had to….

I’d planned how to deal with it

How i would cope with it

But walking in felt different

Harder than I ever imagined….

I didn’t think.

I blocked it out.

Switched by brain off

For a few moments 

And did what i had to.






Don’t cry

Don’t break

Don’t let anyone say


Don’t let them know

How broken you feel 

How this is the last place 

You want to be….

How different 

You feel

Out of place 

Worlds apart….

Lives apart….

It’s my old life

The one I left behind…..

It was so strange…..

The environment was odd

Girls only

Not used to that…..
It was pink and frilly 

Every girl’s dream….

It was like a pretense

Fairytale land 

Away from reality

The entertainment



Well organised….
A sister came over to me

I barely recognised her….

She had lost weight

And looked different….

Trying to be friendly 

She said hi how are you

And my initial reaction was


“How fucking DARE you ask that???

How the hell do you think I am???

You’re acting like her mum

When I’m her mum

And I hate you for the vile 

False allegations you wrote about me

And gave to Court about me!!!”
Instead I kept my facial expression




And mumbled “fine”

And walked away.

I couldn’t pretend

We were ok 

I wasn’t about to be nice to 

People who hurt me so deeply….
I’m not hateful….

Or vengeful…..

I forgive people

Who cause me pain…..

But with them they stepped over 

The invisible mark

So I’m totally done.



The next sister came over 

Hi How are you 

Have a hot dog

Bla bla


Walked away.


She was the worst one.

She took me to court 

Stood in court

Against me

On the same side as my ex…..

Forgive her???

My arse.


Who takes their sister to court

For custody of their child????

Who makes vicious allegations 

Against a sister 

Knowing full well that were false….

And now she’s standing here 

In front of me 

Asking how I am….

Omg omg 




Third sister comes over. 

She’s nothing to do with 

What happened 

But I feel uneasy.

I’m polite 

Give her an air kiss

And ask why she came all the way 

As she lives so far.

We talked all of 30 seconds 


I had nothing to say to her …

And I don’t trust her 

Or any of them anymore……

How can I?
I know they discuss me

And whatever I do or say 

Will be the topic of conversation 

And so I keep quiet….

And sit in a corner

Taking pictures 


Trying to focus

On my stunning daughter

And making sure she’s okay….

I felt so irrelevant….

Why was I even there??

They took over all the tasks

And preparations

And I just kept to myself. 

I was texting a close friend 

Telling him how broken I felt 

And how I wanted to run away

And break down 

And he was amazing…

We spoke and he stayed

On the phone with me 

For a while

Till I felt a bit stronger….

At one point they were 

Taking pictures 

In a photo booth


Having fun 


Jumping up and down 

Being crazy

And as I walked past 

They called me to join them.

I literally couldn’t believe it

Why would I want to be with 


People who broke me

And I look …..

They are smiling 

Thinking “she will come over 

And it will all be okay and 

Back to


But that’s not what happened…..

I shook my head marginally

Not making eye contact……

And walked away

Not making a scene…..

Just quietly moving away…..

Maybe they will finally 

Realise they have hurt me 

Beyond repair…

And even if they ask for


Which they never have done 

I couldn’t grant it…..
At the end of the party

I saw my sisters chatting

Their backs to me

And a huge wave of 

Realisation hit me 

All the months

All the time 

All the tears

All the pain 

They put me through…..

It was over….

I felt nothing for them…

No bond

For they had broken it….

And we were no longer



Those relationships are over…..

And although it should hurt

I just feel


And a huge sense of 


The maybes

The what ifs

The worries 

It was all over…..

I’m a woman with 

One brother now

And that’s it.

I used to have 9 siblings 

Now I have only one….

And It’s okay…..

They can’t hurt me 


As they are strangers 

To me now 

And I am done….
So now yes tonight

I made peace 


With the people 

Who used to be 

My family

As they are no longer

Entitled to call themselves 

My family…..

Families don’t fuck 

Each other over so

They have lost the 

Privilige of calling me



And I’m okay with it….


And I’m happy….

And relieved……

At peace….

This hellish chapter

Of my life 

Is finally 


For good……