Happy Father’s Day – is it Really Happy? Painful? My Story 🥺

Now that Father’s Day is over I wanted to send love and peace to all of us who either haven’t got a father, who have lost their dad, whose father was never around and to those of us who will never receive a phone call from their dad.

My father expects his kids to do the calling and always said “they know where to find me”. I can’t understand that mentality.

It’s been years since we last spoke or saw each other and unfortunately it’s been a rocky ride from day one. I’d love to say he’s been the best dad – the way so many of you are able to – but with so many kids, so little time and money, he wasn’t emotionally available to me. And he never protected us. That hurts.

Father’s Day comes and goes, year in and year out and nothing changes. And I doubt it ever will.… unless I make the initial contact and keep doing that. But don’t we all just want our parents to contact us from time to time? Maybe it’s just me.

Happy Father’s Day to all those dads who are there for your kids and who you love unconditionally. For me it was very much conditional. Once I left their way of life I was an outcast and stopped being part of the family.

Weddings happen.
Bar mitzvah’s come and go.
Babies are born.
Relatives get engaged.
A child is very unwell.

And I know nothing about any of this unless its told to me by someone who happens to mention it and expects me to know. It’s always awkward.

My dad is having a big 70th birthday event in a few days and I knew nothing about it. I only found out when someone asked me for a phone number of a relative to invite them to the party. No consideration for how that would make me feel.

I don’t know why I expect anything else. It’s been like this for years. It’s just tough sometimes… the only photo I have of the two of us and my mother is this one which was taken when I was just 19 and getting married… “You’re welcome to her” he quipped as the wedding ended.

So. Yup. It’s been a hell of a ride for decades and I’m off the train. My number has never changed. ”He knows where to find me”. But he never will. And I’ve accepted it.

(Faces blurred as this is a public post).

#HappyFathersDay #fathersday #fatherhood #parenting #abuse #children #mentalhealth #cult #wedding #marriage #divorce #unconditionallove #sad #disappointed

NETFLIX – “KEEP SWEET PRAY AND OBEY”

Trigger Warning ⚠️

Warren Jeffs is a pedophile.
Warren Jeffs is an evil monster.
The things he subjected not just the women and young girls to but also to the men is horrific to say the least.

One of the main women on the FLDS documentary said this at the end of part 4. I had to stop, rewind, listen again. And again. And then I felt a pull to write it down and share here.

“Those of us that are coming from the fallout of the FLDS at some point we have to move forward. The next generation depends upon it. But it’s very complicated.

So many of us are still functioning under the shadow of the past. I thought I was further along than I was. And then you have these moments as an adult when you think I know nothing. I know nothing”.

What a powerful and relatable idea. We don’t always recognise that when those of us who leave cults, extreme religions or closed communities, it takes time to heal.

We never know what the trigger is and how it will manifest itself. This documentary needs to be shown to everyone. It describes how people can be brainwashed to believe anything at all when done b the worst manipulator and abuser.

It also makes us realise the concept of coercion and underage brides being r*ped by older men sometimes in front of other women as if it’s some godly act.

Yet even after he’s been in jail for over 10 years he has strong supporters who seem to be living with the notion that he’s a martyr and they will do anything for their “prophet”.

To be clear, this is not about religion. It’s about fundamentalists, radical, and extreme cults.

#mentalhealth #Netflix #keepsweetprayandobey #documentary #FLDS #WarrenJeffs #fraud #fake

Amber Heard has set Women back decades with her very serious allegations of abuse against Johnny Depp

Many domestic abuse survivors will be watching in horror knowing that she’s set us back decades. I am a survivor of DA when I was married for 17 years. I fought to get my voice heard and now this has happened, it will be even harder to be believed… so disappointed and painful.

I could never sit so close to my abuser and speak like that. I’d be shaking and crying. I asked for a curtain to be pulled around. I didn’t want to have to speak when he was right there. So much of what she says and does makes no sense.

#JohnnyDepp #AmberHeard #domesticabuse

Matchmaking in the Orthodox Jewish and the Muslim Communities

I don’t think I can cringe any more if I tried!! It’s butt-cheek clenching yikes cringe level!!

Subject – Matchmaking in the Muslim and Ultra Orthodox Jewish communities.

Describing a “class society where classes don’t mix” is just so wrong on so many levels. And saying a daughter of a Rabbi can’t marry the son of a Grocer!! Oh… unless he’s a “good learner and educated in the Bible”.

Even I could do a better job explaining the process, and that’s saying something!!!!

I found it interesting how the Muslim matchmaker said what’s important is not to do with class but where they are in life and if their lives align. And it seems like online dating is more acceptable whereas in the hasidic and haredi communities not everyone is online.

Lebanese man from Muslim Family Posed as Ultra Orthodox Jew for Years…

Eliyah Hawila reportedly confirms to law enforcement he is not Jewish, and says he married Haredi woman to join the Jewish community. He says he always “felt Jewish and has a Jewish Soul”.

Hawila had reportedly given a convincing story as to why he was cut off from his family and had been affiliated with the Chabad Lubavitch branch in Texas for several years.

https://youtu.be/ak9r0p4DkTY – this is the full hour plus interview he did on a talk show. He was brave enough to take questions too.

Just a few weeks ago he married a woman who he found on the dating site “Met You At Sinai”. It seems strange that he was able to marry a Jewish woman of Syrian descent who spoke both Arabic and Hebrew fluently and no one checked to see who he really was.

Of course he is sad and seems very genuine in his desire to convert despite knowing that the Syrian community don’t accept converts. He wants to convert regardless of whether he is able to be with his estranged wife or not.

For me personally it’s not about religion. It’s about someone who has been dishonest about who he genuinely is and his background knowing that if people knew his name was Ali Hassan Hawila rather than Elijah Hawila, he would not be accepted. And that’s true.

Unfortunately his lying started off as a small lie but spiralled over a period of a number of years and everything about who he was was fake. Of course when you marry someone you should be looking into who they are and it’s sad that his wife’s family didn’t do that.

I found myself feeling compassion for him. However, at the same time I didn’t know what was true and what was another lie. I just don’t know what to believe. And that’s painful for him. No one knows what is true and what is yet more lies.

I genuinely wish him all the best and respect the fact that he went on a public show and told his story. Not many people have the courage to do that. I wonder what his future holds.

#Jewish #Islam #conversion #ElijahHawila #scam