The saddest thing I heard tonight… child abuse survivor’s story.

A letter to parents from a parent. Please take the time to read this and feel free to share. We need to start a conversation about child abuse and the repercussions of what this can do to the victim later on in life.

Tonight I heard something that literally broke my heart. I can’t go into too many details but I’ll give you a basic run through of what I was told.

A young girl of around 17 was being physically abused by her parents. As a strictly religious household (I can’t say which religion), they felt she was doing things that to them was bad.

We are not talking about anything really bad. It was things like getting home 5 mins later than planned. Getting a grade less than expected in school. Not helping enough around the house etc etc.

She was expected to do a huge chunk of the chores and she did what she could. However, For these parents, nothing was ever good enough.

They physically punished her all her life but as she grew up she began resenting them and became more and more distant.

During that time she met a young man around the same age and they began dating. He had no mother figure in his life as she’s a drug addict. It was just him and his father at home. The father wasn’t bothered by his son having a girlfriend so young.

The girl was in a very low place and was so touched that someone was showing her attention. They spent more and more time together until they became an official couple.

As a religious girl, any form of intimacy before marriage is a huge sin. She knew she could never tell her parents about him.

THIS IS THE PART I WANT PARENTS TO READ. PLEASE.

Because of the physical abuse she suffered at home, and knowing that her parents believed they were doing the right thing in disciplining her like that, she felt very much alone. And she grew more and more attached and close to this young man.

Had she been able to speak to her mother or father they would have been able to tell her what to look out for, what is normal, what are red flags, and generally have someone to turn to if things go wrong.

I totally understand the religious aspect but there’s reality too. We cannot, as parents, turn a blind eye to what our children are doing simply because we don’t agree with it. We need to go at their pace or else we end up with children who resort to lying to us and us not being aware of what they’re experiencing.

One day after she was hit by her parents she decided she had had enough. She secretly packed a bag and ran away to her boyfriend’s house. No one knew where she was because she was unable to tell people about him, for fear of reprisals and being judged.

The man and his father were thrilled. They had a young woman there “to do women’s work”. She was trapped. She had to do all the laundry, cooking for all of them, was expected to clean the house, and if she complained she was told “be grateful we opened our home to you”.

One day there was an argument and put the blue the man hit the girl hard. He obviously apologised and said it would never happen again. She believed him. And of course that was just the beginning of 9 months of abuse. He beat her all the time.

She was covered in bruises. And she was mentally falling apart. Her parents tried to track her down and begged her to come home. They promised they would stop abusing her and things would change.

Then she had a breakdown and ended up having to be in a hospital to deal with her mental health.

When she left, she went home. Her parents stuck to their promises and never hit her again. But the damage was done. She was so used to being physically abused that she was spiralling in a cycle of abuse.

Of course there was no way she could tell them about the man so she lied all the time telling them that she was “staying with friends”.

When they were out around people they were the “perfect couple” and everyone thought they were happy. She was good at pretending. After all, hadn’t she been taught how to lie and pretend she was okay when her own parents abused her?

She had NO ONE to talk to. She had no relationship with her parents close enough to be able to tell them what was going on.

At one point there was a party and they went. She drank a lot and passed out. The next day she knew something had happened but couldn’t remember it all. Only small flashes of memory came to her. She still doesn’t know what happened that night. She probably never will.

She did remember that the man’s father arrived at one point and called his son aside and in front of several young women asked him “who do you want to f*ck tonight”? His own girlfriend was right there. Imagine the pain and humiliation she experienced.

If only she had a parent close enough to open up to… after almost a year she’s now finally realised that this was not okay and is classed as intimate partner violence, aka domestic abuse.

She’s tried to cut off contact but all the threats he makes and the fact they have to be in the same place during the week (I can’t elaborate) means that she will keep seeing him.

How different would things have been if she hadn’t been abused? How many people who have been abused get involved with people who end up abusing them as well? If they don’t get the right help and therapy it can continue throughout their lives.

We, as parents, can change things. We can be better people. We can be less judgmental and more understanding. We don’t have to throw away all our beliefs. We just have to meet them where they’re at.

The alternative is this story. A young girl unable to tell anyone her body was covered in bruises and she was scared of her boyfriend. And his father.

Luckily she has found someone to talk to. She’s also got professional help from a therapist. And hopefully with time she will heal from the trauma of her childhood and of this abusive relationship.

She says “if I had a mother I was able to talk to the way I can talk to …. I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in. I would have been able to discuss with her the things that worried me at the beginning so that I didn’t have to waste almost a year of my life alone with my thoughts, trauma and pain fighting my attachment issues. She would have told me this wasn’t acceptable. It wasn’t normal”.

She cried looking at the photos of her body with the scars of the abuse she suffered…. No one should have to live like this. We all deserve to have our needs met. We all deserve to be cared for and to be able to share our concerns. We all deserve to have felt love from our parents and to love others. We deserve peace. We deserve therapy. We deserve… to be our authentic self without fear of repercussions.

#abuse #religion #danger #home #shopping #domesticviolenceawareness #London #cooking #cult #culture #extreme #boyfriend #couple #girlfriend #physicalabuse #bruised #therapy

Ultra-Orthodox MK: Women who convert to Judaism through IDF are ‘shiksas’

An ultra-Orthodox lawmaker said women who convert to Judaism through the Israel Defense Forces’ conversion program are considered shiksas, using a pejorative term for non-Jewish women.

https://www.timesofisrael.com/ultra-orthodox-mk-women-who-convert-to-judaism-through-idf-are-shiksas/

Opposition leader Yair Lapid called the statement “ignorant and sad.”

“These wonderful young women that you call shiksas are saving your life,” he tweeted.

#israel #Knesset #jewish #IDF #soldiers #bigotry #BeKind #conversion

Outrageous Comments Made by a Knesset Member About Killing People in “Mixed Marriages”

An Israeli Knesset member has called for the killing of couples involved in mixed marriages during a speech in parliament.

Yitzhak Pindrus is a member of the United Torah Judaism, an ultra-Orthodox party that believes in a homogenous Jewish state and society.

He called for the murder of “people who contribute to miscegenation”, invoking a Biblical story about the murder of a Jewish man and non-Jewish woman while they were making love by lancing a spear through their engaged sexual organs.

#israel #Knesset #racism #bigotry #government #marriage #lgbtq #bekind

Worshipers at synagogue threatened by men screaming anti-Semitic slurs

“No one was injured, and no weapons were displayed, according to the witnesses, but community members were terrified.

“There were kids all over, it was traumatizing,” an unnamed witness said.”

Do you hear the irony? No one was injured and there were no weapons. Kids terrified and traumatised. Remind you of anything at all?

Read the end of the article where it states how many Palestinians have been killed by the Israeli Army in the last couple of weeks or so. 60 babies and children were killed.

I asked a friend how he can still justify people who have done this. His answer was “they were in the wrong place at the wrong time”. It seems being in bed asleep in your own home counts as wrong place wrong time.

The Israeli Government confirmed the bomb had missed the target and hit that building killing dozens of innocent people. And you’re still defending this?

You know what real trauma is? A little girl pulled out of the rubble of a building bombed by the Israelis in which her mother and all her siblings were killed. The only other survivor was her father. She hasn’t said a word since being pulled out of the rubble of the bombed building. Her eyes are wide open and terrified. But not a sound comes out.

Of course it’s not acceptable to harass anyone or to yell antisemitic remarks. But please can we put things into perspective here. Having a car damaged and getting the police to take fingerprints of it to arrest the person who did it. I mean, seriously??

I still cannot get my head round the countless people who I know have a kind heart and so much compassion and yet when it comes to the subject of the Palestinians all this goes away. Someone make it make sense!

#Israel #army #peace #Palestine #vandalism #synagogue #AlAqsa #government #compassion #Antisemitism #bekind #LOSS #children #trauma

https://nypost.com/2021/05/23/synagogue-worshipers-threatned-by-men-yelling-anti-semitic-remarks/

The Thoughts I Was Brought Up With In The Orthodox Jewish World Regarding The Middle East

I need to vent. The whole Israel/Palestine situation is driving me insane. As someone who identifies as an Atheist and an Ex-Jew I have so many feelings I’m working through.

I was born into an Ultra Orthodox Jewish family and I’m ashamed to admit the kind of mentality I was indoctrinated with. It took one specific incident that made me see things in a different light, and change my views.I was in a world where absolutely everyone I knew hated Arabs and Palestinians.

I’m using the word “hate” because I want you to see behind the niceties they want to portray the world. So the words I’m going to use are authentic to what I was taught.The indoctrination was so deep rooted.

We were told how we are “The Chosen People” and that we were special and better people than anyone else. Black people were referred to in very derogatory terms, using words in Yiddish which are comparable to the N-word.Anyone who wasn’t Jewish was called derogatory names, and Muslims, and even Caucasian people weren’t spared this.

I knew there was conflict in the Middle East but I wasn’t told exactly why this was happening. All I was told was that the Israelis were the victims and the Palestinians were the oppressors who wanted nothing more than to kill all the Jews around the world.

When 9/11 happened this continued at a rapid pace and it was like a stamp that what they’ve been telling us was true, that Muslims were “barbaric, murderers, animalistic, haters” etc. So, all my life these were the kind of beliefs I was brought up with. At one time there was a Jewish family that were attacked by a Palestinian man and someone was tragically killed. Of course that it horrific. No one would say otherwise. I was no different.

I was angry that this Palestinian man had thought it was okay to kill an innocent person, but then I heard about the way the family would be punished. That in itself made no sense. Why do they bomb the homes of the people who attack Israelis? Why are the families the ones that are now targeted? It didn’t make sense to me.

The perpetrator and victim had both been killed that day. Yet the family of the murderer would face so much simply for being related to the killer. Yes, the IDF generally give the families a warning that they were planning to bomb their homes, but why is that protocol? It doesn’t make much sense to me now, but at the time I felt it was justified. After all, they did kill that man. No?

A few days later I was reading an Orthodox Jewish Newspaper where this whole incident was reported, including the final part where the family’s home was bombed. What I then read made my blood run cold. They reported that several members of the family had not been given the warning and had not managed to leave the home when it was bombed.

Several members of that family were killed, including a new-born baby girl. I asked those around me how that was in any way justifiable. The response I got back then sends chills down me, even decades later. I was told bluntly that ALL Muslims hate Jews and want them wiped out, and that killing any of them would, in the long run, be beneficial because it’s one less Muslim, and “one less Terrorist” in the world.

When I asked about the baby, I was told that she too would become a terrorist when she grew up, or that she would have children or a husband who would kill Jews one day. That is how they tried to rationalise it to me. I wasn’t satisfied with this answer and I kept questioning how killing a tiny baby was okay in their eyes. I saw how they looked at babies who aren’t Jewish as “less than” and in some way subhuman. So the fact that they had no compassion for this family who had lost several family members, including a tiny baby, didn’t shock me.

They openly talk about how “other people”, meaning anyone who isn’t Jewish, don’t have the same feelings about their children. Their own kids were top of the hierarchy in terms of importance of human life, and there was absolutely no value to the life of a Muslim baby. After all, they would grow up to be a terrorist and would kill Jews, so one less was a blessing.

That was the moment that I felt my beliefs waiver. I couldn’t understand how the value of a newborn Jewish baby was seen as something so special and everything had to be done to keep this baby safe. And yet there was no sympathy or sadness for the families losing their babies because the Israeli Army were killing them, and had no compassion for them.

None of this made sense. Life moved on, things happened, and decades passed. When I left the faith 6 years ago I wanted nothing to do with anyone who had these kind of abhorrent views. I felt very much alone until I found a whole world out there who accepted me for having strong opinions about this subject. I wasn’t judged on my background. It was about my views. So I kept speaking out, often facing brutal backlash.

There were times I had dog sh1t on my doorstep, my tyres slashed repeatedly, crowds of Hasidic teenagers chanting outside my home and harassing us that the police had to be called several times, etc. And the hate continued online, and has been going on all this time.

Sadly now it has gone up a few levels. The name calling, the threats, the vile messages, emails, comments, and voice notes I have received in the past couple of weeks has been unbelievable. My social media platforms keep being reported as they want to shut me up and not allow me to speak my truth. Yet I will never stop.

Just today I have been called a Nazi, an antisemite, someone who is worse than the Nazis and who wants the ethnic cleansing of all Jews not only from Israel, but worldwide. In all honesty all I want to scream is can’t you see the pain in the faces of these Palestinian families who are grieving their loved ones… and why do you not seem to care? Oh, wait, I forgot. It’s because an Israeli Jewish baby is “worth more and has more value than Palestinian or Muslim babies”…. That hurts even to write it.

I am in no way saying that the 10 deaths in Israel are not horrific. Of course that is tragic, and I have cried for those people who have lost their lives so tragically. At the same time I see most Jewish people seem not to care about the 200+ people who have been killed in Gaza, including over 60 CHILDREN….. But that is referred by people I know as them “being in the wrong time and place”, and that sickens me. Every death is something that cuts me deep.

This is an example of what I’m referring to.

“Horribly disappointed in you. That your reaction to the bombs falling on Israel by the thousands is a desire to see “free Palestine”. You want the terrorism to secure a free Palestine? Really? You want from the river to the sea Palestine be [Jew] free? Ethnic cleansing is your new cause? You bleeping kidding me? And I don’t even want to hear fallacies, because we all know that Israel’s number one import is holiness. Every religion calls it the Holy land. Under Israel the Christians, Jews and Arabs all have 100% freedom to visit any holy site of their choosing. Including the cave of the patriarchs, the temple mount etc. So you want the land of Israel to be Judenrein (best case scenario apparently is that you wish them to flee and not be slaughtered?) and only the Muslims to have access again to holy sites?”

I never said I wanted ethnic cleansing of anyone at all! The way this person talks to me about my views is outrageous. I just never said or alleged any of those things. I don’t want anyone to be removed, killed, “ethnically cleansed”, “Judenrein” and to get all Jews out of Israel and for the country to be for Muslims only. I simply questioned how anyone is okay with what the Israeli Government and the IDF are doing in Palestine. I specifically stated that this was not a Jewish-Muslim discussion. I reiterated that this was a right wing Zionist and Israeli Government and Palestinian issue, and the discussion has to be based on facts not emotions. Every face I see, regardless of whether they are Israeli or Palestinian breaks my heart….

What the Israeli Government are doing is unacceptable, but that doesn’t make me antisemitic. I can criticise them without being accused of being an antisemite. But sadly some people cannot differentiate between the two. I am someone who is passionate about people, about humanity, and won’t focus on what religions people have. Seeing what is going on in this world, and seeing people being hurt, being killed, being targeted for what others have done is not something I am willing to keep quiet about.

Despite the fact that I was born into the Orthodox Jewish world, I have now left that behind and can see things clearly and have been working out how I feel about all sorts of topics, including this one. Yet now I feel lonelier than ever as almost everyone I know has different views to me. I am careful about who I speak to and am wary of even opening this conversation with most people around me. Fortunately my boyfriend is just as passionate about this but I tend to have to keep my opinions to myself. I can’t afford to lose any more people in my life….

Al Aqsa Mosque and Sheikh Jarrah in Palestine / Israel

10 May 2021

A look at what is going on for the Palestinians during these very volatile situations.

#Israel #Palestinians #Palestine #SheikhJarrah #peace #bekind #ramadan #attacks #rockets #gaza #Jerusalem #guns #bullets #AlAqsaMosque

“Free Palestine” London Protest 11 May 2021

Protests today in London’s Downing Street for the plight of the Palestinians. The atmosphere was one of united strength, a desire for change and passionate discussions and speeches.

No one was hurt and the police handled it all pretty well. There were a couple of times they shouted at the protestors not to be too close to them, and obviously they immediately moved.

And just to clarify, I can criticise the Israeli Government and what they are doing without being labelled an antisemite and a Nazi. I have not said anything about Jews. This isn’t about the Jewish Community. It’s about the radical right wing Zionists. It’s a very different thing. You can look at my last few posts and see that I have a balanced perspective.

Regardless of your opinion and where you stand on this issue I would ask you to stop sending me dm’s with hate, threats, voice notes, and your thoughts on why I’m wrong. You’re entitled to your own opinion, just as I am. I will continue ignoring them all and blocking those that overstep the mark.

israel #london #protest #downingstreet #palestine #freepalestine #march #together #united #uk #police #safety #security #gaza #alaqsa #mosque #zionism #islam #jerusalem #ramadan #army #idf #netanyahu #government #bekind #sheikhjarrah #soldier #guns #bullet #rocket

ABC The Bachelor, Colton Underwood, Comes out 🏳️‍🌈

Former Bachelor star Colton Underwood speaks his truth and comes out to Robin Roberts: “I’m gay. And I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it… I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

Colton would “pray the gay away and be straight”. This was mostly because of his strict catholic faith. So happy he’s finally spoken his truth. 🏳️‍🌈

For the whole interview click this link.

https://youtu.be/x5WsydRK30Q

#TheBachelor #ColtonUnderwood #pride #lgbt

FGM – Female Genital Mutilation Must Be Banned Once And For All In All States

This makes a nonsense of the claim that FGM is done to protect the virginity of the girl / Woman.

This women was butchered after her 3rd child and it can only have been done on the orders of her husband or relatives and as such is an actual assault on her person.

It always saddens me to witness women being part of an unacceptable and very painful cultural practices that mostly serve evil misogynistic ideas. It’s so difficult to understand 💔

Reading this sent chills down me…. this is the reality of what too many women and girls are put through… 🥺💔

#FGM #femalegenitalmutilation #women #girls #abuse #misogyny #EndFGM #NoFGM #female #stopFGM #culture #religion #faith #abuse

This is My Own Personal Freedom 💚

As the Jewish Community get together with their families and friends to celebrate the final moments of Passover, I celebrate with them.

No, I don’t celebrate Passover. I celebrate my own personal freedom and reflect on the journey I have gone on during the last 6 years.

I am no longer a wife but I am a happy woman with a supportive boyfriend who loves me and appreciates the real me.

I am no longer Jewish although I am still the same person with the same heart.

This journey has been hell at times and at times I’ve almost wanted to give up. But I knew that I couldn’t. I wanted to be a strong woman who would be someone others can look up to and ask advice from.

I wanted to be the woman I needed when I was leaving. Someone to listen to me, someone to advise me, and someone to understand the emotions I was going through.

And I can proudly look myself in the mirror and be proud of who I am today. I am a support to countless people and have shared my story in countless media platforms to empower others who want to leave.

I am still the same person I always was and sadly that’s not something that people from my past are able to see. They choose to judge me and threaten me. But I choose to ignore and move on.

I am free – from an ex-Jew on the final days of Passover – this is my moment to smile and be proud of the life I have.

Nothing is worth more than living a life where I am able to choose how I will live and what I will do. It’s not always easy but – for me personally – it’s been the best thing I’ve done.

I am not angry. I am not bitter. I am content.

#passover #Pesach #freedom #free #atheist #religion #faith #cult #hasidic #unorthodox #Netflix #custody #beyou #stamfordhill #London