The last event I attended in Stamford Hill was one like the one this woman writes about. I was asked to come dressed appropriately and covered up which I would have done anyway. I was even told that I needed to cover my hair despite the fact I was divorced and this is not necessary according to Jewish law.
I had countless texts and phone calls prior to this event when the parents (my sibling and her husband) kept asking for photos of what I would wear and wanted to vet me and check it would fit their list of what was acceptable. Of course I’d have gone with appropriate attire but the pressure was so intense and was too much for me.
At the event itself I was looked at from head to toe by pretty much every single person there. I was taken aside by members of my own family who had questions about why I just couldn’t wear a wig (I’d already donated mine to other women in the community).
That night I decided I would never attend an event in Stamford Hill again. I shouldn’t have to justify the denier tights I’m wearing or why I’m wearing 3/4 length T-shirts not ones till the wrist. And the insistence of me covering my hair was ridiculous.
I respect people. I respect their community. But they will never respect my life and my choices.
Could you be like this woman?? I can’t think of anything worse! It might just be my own personal experiences that make me cringe and worry for people who subjugate themselves and blindly follow what they’re told.
She might have the best marriage and a man who doesn’t take advantage of her loyalty and support of everything he says. I just couldn’t do it. Period.
Trigger Warning ⚠️ sexual harassment in the workplace ⚠️
I feel so disappointed that there are still men, or women, who think it’s acceptable to harass women, or men at work.
My job is at a reputable company that is to do with mental health. I can’t go into any further details due to confidentiality reasons.
When I go to work and spent 13-14 hours a shift with colleagues who are, or should be, just as passionate about mental health as I am, I don’t expect what happened to me this week.
Long story short, a male I was doing a shift with decided it would be okay to tell me “I like you”. Sounds innocent enough. No? I reminded him I’m in a relationship and he’s married! He says “don’t worry about that. She’s my problem not yours and I’ll deal with that”.
I carried on with my day but every opportunity he had he kept making inappropriate comments. Things such as “I’ll take you on a date. Let’s go for a drive. I’ll show you things you’ve never seen or done.” etc. To say I felt awkward and uncomfortable is an understatement.
However, as there are patients around who are potentially able to hear what we speak about in general, I am incredibly careful about what I say at work. He didn’t care and kept going.
I kept saying no to every suggestion and flirtation but how many times do we have to say no or stop to someone before they actually listen to us?
At one point he said he wanted to take me to him home country so I said “to meet your wife?” He didn’t like me reminding him of her. I told him not only did he disrespect his own wife and marriage, he’s disrespecting my partner and relationship and me. He blatantly told me that because I’m not married “it wouldn’t be cheating”.
“But YOU ARE married! YOU ARE cheating”! I asked how his wife would feel if she heard the way he spoke to me and he said, once again, she’s nothing and irrelevant to him. Disgusting man.
I was unable to speak to anyone in management due to my schedule that morning but I was feeling anxious and spoke to a female colleague who was shocked at what he’d been saying to me.
I felt like I was backed into a corner. I kept telling him to stop. I kept saying shut up dude. I kept saying no. I kept. I kept. And he kept going. When I was able to have a lunch break mid afternoon I had a moment to reflect and felt so lost. The tools we have to prevent being harassed weren’t working on this man.
I felt like my voice was being ignored and my “NO’s” meant nothing to him. I decided to keep away from him the rest of the day and deal with it when I could make sense of it all and speak to someone higher up.
Unfortunately that afternoon he ramped things up even more. I started to feel like I was shrinking and helpless and unable to stop what he was doing. I didn’t want to make a fuss but this was becoming unbearable.
He said that he had liked me back when I started months ago, was obsessed with me, keeps watching me and can’t stop staring at me. Oh, and that this would never stop.
I told him that not only will nothing ever happen, we cannot even be friends now because of his he’s behaved and disrespected my relationship. He says “we can be friends with benefits”. I stopped. Turned around. And had a moment of what the actual fuck is going on??
I chose to ignore him. He repeated himself and I ignored him. He kept going. So I turned back around and said “see that camera? see the other one over there? Those aren’t just visually recording everything. They are audio recording everything you’re saying”. I had forgotten the CCTV cameras all over covered the area we were in too.
He seemed genuinely shocked and then said that because we wear facemasks it won’t be picked up on. Bullshit. Body language is. My voice is always clear.
Later on when I was in the lounge area he pushed a piece of paper towards me, tapping it, and insisting I write my phone number on it. I said NO. He did it again. I said NO. I was so drained at this point.
I needed him to stop. I needed the shift to end. And I wanted out so I could speak to someone who would be able to speak with me and help me out. I knew I couldn’t and wouldn’t keep it to myself but I had to wait until I was able to speak to someone in charge.
After he asked me countless times for my number I felt myself wondering if it would be easier to do that. Then I stopped. I told him I’d think about it. He asked how long would that take and I said “ohhhh a VERY long time”.
At the end of the day I couldn’t leave quick enough. But I felt angry at the situation. Angry at what some people do to grind you down to the ground. Frustrated that whatever I tried to say was ignored. I was just a mess. I didn’t go to work that day to be treated like that. I went to make a difference to people’s lives.
The following morning I brought this up with my Manager who spoke with HR who were left speechless and disgusted at what they heard he’d been saying. I told them most of what he’d said as that was more than enough. They said you do not come to work to be sexually harassed all day, for hours, and be left emotionally drained.
I didn’t want him to lose his job. And I still don’t. However, when I heard from someone in Management that they were not shocked as he had made some inappropriate remarks to other women, albeit not as bad, I no longer cared what happened to him.
I immediately told them I’m no longer doing this “off the record” as now that I know he’s done similar things beforehand I now want this ON the record. Because if he’s done this to other women, he will continue to do it again and again.
And in an environment where we have to maintain professional conduct and composure, regardless of what we see and hear, he was able to get away with this disgusting sexist behaviour and harassing women….
I hope he’s dealt with properly as I know there’s no way he would be allowed to work again in this environment if this is how he’s known to behave.
This breaks my heart 💔 and I know all about the feeling of desperately wanting your mother’s love and support but knowing she’s not able to give that to you and is unable to apologise for the abuse and pain she’s put you through…
This is from a tv show called Bride and Prejudice: The Forbidden Weddings. It’s on Discovery+. Definitely worth watching…
Heard openly mocked Depp for being a “victim of abuse”
Jurors also heard a recording of Heard allegedly pressuring Depp to come forward as a “victim of domestic violence” and suggesting he wouldn’t be believed.
“Tell the world, Johnny, tell them, Johnny Depp, I, Johnny Depp, a man, I’m a victim too of domestic violence,” Heard says, before going on to challenge him to “see how many people believe or side with you.”
Jurors were played recordings of fights, including one in which Heard admitted to “hitting” Depp.
“You didn’t get punched. You got hit. I’m sorry I hit you like this, but I did not punch you. I did not fucking deck you. I fucking was hitting you.”
Heard later apologized.
Heard testified that Depp got violent during their honeymoon in 2015, after an argument over his drinking.
“He would slam me up against the wall,” she said. She said she feared Depp would kill her.
A trip to Australia, where Depp was filming the fifth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise, featured prominently in the trial. Depp claimed his wife threw a vodka bottle at him, severing the top of his middle right finger. Heard claimed Depp sexually assaulted her with a whiskey bottle.
“It [was] so easy for him to throw me around,” Heard testified. Depp, she said, shoved a liquor bottle “inside of me over and over again” and “said he would kill me”.
If this actually happened she would have been in hospital. The stories she’s come out with are ludicrous and lacked credibility in my personal opinion.
For everyone saying that “Now that a jury has sided with Johnny Depp, advocates say the verdict could have a chilling effect on other survivors looking to speak out against their abusers.” I say this.
Stop speaking on behalf of women like myself who have been abused while in a relationship with my ex husband.I support Johnny Depp.
He was the victim. Women always fight to be believed. This will set us back because we will be asked if we are like Amber Heard. Heard and the ACLU demonised Depp without knowing any facts. Shameful.
Story time! I was on a date with a guy about 3 years ago who knew that the only superficial thing that was important to me is height because I’m tall. He lied and said he was taller than he actually was.
When we met I was taller than him and I was more annoyed that he lied to me than the fact that he was 5”6! We had a nice chat although I knew there was no way I was going to see him again.
He randomly asked how I felt about kissing on a first date and I said no but if I am into the person then on a second date I’d be in. I also reiterated that I was disappointed I had been lied to. We left the bar and I headed to my car.
Suddenly he said hold on! Is the first date inside the bar and the second one here outside? If it’s the second one I want to kiss you! I was like wow wtf dude!! I said again about the height lying thing.
He then went onto the sidewalk as I stood on the road about to get in my car and he said “I’m taller than you now and it’s like a second date, so can we kiss”!!
I made it clear that while he’s a nice person I’m just not feeling it and I wished him all the best but I wouldn’t meet again. He asked if I was dating someone else and I said no I don’t date more than one person at a time. He just couldn’t accept what I was saying.
He walked off. I sped home! The next morning my phone rang and he said “I’ve been thinking about our date last night and I don’t think it’s going to work out so I don’t want to meet up again”!!!
Some people feel the need to be the one to end a relationship or just a dating situation even though I’d already said the exact same thing the night before!! I just said uh-huh ok I already said this but yeah cool. And I hung up.
To be honest it was about the lying and the boundary crossing. When someone says they don’t want or don’t like or can’t go etc let them have their boundaries! Don’t force yourself onto anyone.
Whether someone is dead or alive we cannot just ignore the things they did that hurt people. He was known for supporting men who didn’t like women and expected the prettiest woman while they had almost nothing to offer.
He particularly had a thing for verbally attacking black women. This was a constant theme. They would ask for advice and he would immediately ask their height, weight, rated their appearance out of 10, earnings etc. And whatever they said he put a negative twist to it.
He did decent men a disservice and women became the focus of mens’ anger when they thought they deserved a certain kind of woman.
This video is an example of what I mean although there’s a lot more online on his YouTube page.
If putting women down was his specialty then he did it well. I wish he wouldn’t have had the chance to be so awful about women.
“This happened at as mosque in east London.. East Ham I believe, these little shits thought it would be funny to attack Muslims who were just trying to pray. I blame parents for this.. I see it everyday.
Letting your kids act up and never checking them.. this is what they grow up to become and then when they fail in life later you want to blame everyone else but yourself.
Let one of these idiots come try it at my mosque and see…”
This is absolutely disgusting. Can’t people pray in peace without being harassed and physically attacking innocent people like this??
This is so freaking disrespectful and I hope someone with a shred of decency knows who they are and tells the police. Like wow!! Who raised you???
Ukrainian footballer reduced to tears after being handed captain’s armband and given standing ovation
Benfica star Roman Yaremchuk was reduced to tears after coming on in his side’s match this evening as thousands of fans showed their support for Ukraine.
Since Russia began invading Ukraine just 11 days ago on the orders of Russian president Vladimir Putin, millions of people around the world have been showing support for Ukrainians during these incredibly tough times.
It’s been a difficult week for Ukrainian footballers playing through the shocking events with many having family and friends back home living in fear.
As we all watch in horror the senseless violence and murders of hundreds of innocent Ukrainians it’s hard not to get emotional watching this powerful moment of unity, support and solidarity.
I can’t believe that in 2022 I still have to say this.
Domestic violence can affect anyone – including men. According to the CDC, one in seven men age 18+ in the U.S. has been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in his lifetime.
When it comes to domestic violence, the conversation typically focuses on women as victims and men as perpetrators. After all, women make up at least 85 percent of the victims, and most often at the hands of male abusers.
But this doesn’t mean that abusive female partners don’t exist; they do. They absolutely do.
One in 10 men has experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.
Although they make up a smaller percentage of calls to Domestic Violence helplines, there are likely many more men who do not report or seek help for their abuse, for a variety of reasons:
Men are socialized not to express their feelings or see themselves as victims.
Pervading beliefs or stereotypes about men being abusers, women being victims.
The abuse of men is often treated as less serious, or a “joke.” The truth is, abuse is not a joke, in any situation, between any two people.
All victims, regardless of gender, deserve support and resources to help them feel safe. If you are experiencing domestic abuse please reach out to your local police for help. Make sure they truly understand what you’re going through.
And don’t be ashamed to say “I’m a victim of domestic abuse and I need help”. Those words will change your life.
I am all too aware that getting the help you need is not easy – especially when people make assumptions that the woman is the victim because she’s smaller. Or because she can lie and fake tears.
I’m tired. I’m drained. My heart hurts for a family I care deeply about and whom all this applies to…. And shame on those who are helping the woman, knowing very little information and accepting what she says as facts.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE A DISGRACE HELPING A PERPETRATOR AND NOT THE VICTIMS
Diary of an OTD Girl 