The last event I attended in Stamford Hill was one like the one this woman writes about. I was asked to come dressed appropriately and covered up which I would have done anyway. I was even told that I needed to cover my hair despite the fact I was divorced and this is not necessary according to Jewish law.
I had countless texts and phone calls prior to this event when the parents (my sibling and her husband) kept asking for photos of what I would wear and wanted to vet me and check it would fit their list of what was acceptable. Of course I’d have gone with appropriate attire but the pressure was so intense and was too much for me.
At the event itself I was looked at from head to toe by pretty much every single person there. I was taken aside by members of my own family who had questions about why I just couldn’t wear a wig (I’d already donated mine to other women in the community).
That night I decided I would never attend an event in Stamford Hill again. I shouldn’t have to justify the denier tights I’m wearing or why I’m wearing 3/4 length T-shirts not ones till the wrist. And the insistence of me covering my hair was ridiculous.
I respect people. I respect their community. But they will never respect my life and my choices.
Could you be like this woman?? I can’t think of anything worse! It might just be my own personal experiences that make me cringe and worry for people who subjugate themselves and blindly follow what they’re told.
She might have the best marriage and a man who doesn’t take advantage of her loyalty and support of everything he says. I just couldn’t do it. Period.
This breaks my heart 💔 and I know all about the feeling of desperately wanting your mother’s love and support but knowing she’s not able to give that to you and is unable to apologise for the abuse and pain she’s put you through…
This is from a tv show called Bride and Prejudice: The Forbidden Weddings. It’s on Discovery+. Definitely worth watching…
Umm 🤔 why not??? Let’s be honest and open and stop sugarcoating what is happening with young people in haredi and hasidic communities.
I have so much to say on this. She’s literally contradicting herself several times saying it’s not an arranged marriage. But then says a matchmaker is involved, they had only a few meetings before getting engaged etc.
I find her attitude towards those who date to get married and have kids in the secular world jarring. We all ask – yes even on dating apps – what they want out of it. If they want or have kids. If they want marriage etc.
She seems to be hugely offended by the term “arranged marriage”. And claims that it’s different in her son’s community as he’s a baal teshuva. Sorry hun but I’m the daughter of both parents who are BT and that’s just not the case.
If there’s a matchmaker involved and they get engaged it’s an arranged marriage.
Clearly parents can’t fix you up if they are outside the community. So the shadchanim or someone else does. And yes of course children of BTs are fixed up by parents!
She herself commented that they were ‘fixed up’ together – so how is that not ‘arranged’??? And what pool of young women was felt appropriate for him???
This woman means well but is literally contradicting herself throughout and it’s frustrating to read.
Trigger Warning ⚠️ child abuse, underage marriage, control, etc.
This week, a new true crime has dropped on Netflix called Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey. It tells the harrowing true story of a polygamous cult, and viewers of the show are calling it the most traumatising thing they have ever watched.
This Netflix series explores the secretive and chilling polygamous cult of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS) Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey focuses on a US polygamous cult led by Warren Jeffs, who to followers was the leader or “prophet” of the group.
This is the Netflix trailer so you get an idea what it’s about before you watch it as it’s traumatic viewing…
The group saw hundreds of women and children abused on a daily basis. In 2011, Warren Jeffs was convicted in Texas of two counts of sexual assault of a child. He was sentenced to life in prison for sexually assaulting a a 12-year-old girl, and 20 years for sexually assaulting a 15-year-old girl.
Warren Jeffs was previously convicted in Utah on two counts of being an accomplice to rape in 2007, but that conviction was overturned by the Utah Supreme Court in 2010.
According to a former US Attorney Special Prosecutor who participated in the Netflix documentary, evidence during the sentence phase of the trial reflected that Jeffs was “involved in conducting the marriages of 67 underage girls to FLDS men”, and that he “had himself 78 wives – 24 of those wives were underage.”
Jeffs is a monster who’s presently serving life in prison for the sexual assault of two young girls, ages 12 and 15, who at the time of his crimes were both his wives.
Dretzin’s four-part affair is a history lesson about the modern FLDS movement, which was spearheaded by Jeffs’ father, Rulon, the original prophet, who even in his eighties was continuing to marry as many young women as he could get his wrinkled hands on, including Rebecca Wall, who speaks in detail about the nightmare of having to share a house—and bed—with this elderly creep.
From there, it was only a short leap into systemic pedophilia. Let that sink in.
Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey is a snapshot of the fear, intimidation, broken families, and sinister misconduct begat by this situation.
Thankfully, director Dretzin crafts her portrait with virtually no dramatic recreations, instead relying on a haunting collection of archival photos, home videos, courtroom footage, and recorded evidence to convey the unnerving strangeness of FLDS life, in which women dressed (as one speaker pointedly puts it) like Laura Ingalls, and men preached in holier-than-thou tones that belied their baser designs.
That material culminates with clandestine photographs and audio tapes made by Jeffs of his sexual encounters with his victims, which are so predictably disgusting that it’s no surprise they landed him behind bars, where he continues to create “revelations” that are disseminated to his followers.
This 4 part documentary is chilling, possibly triggering, shocking, disturbing, and a real eye opener to those who know little or nothing about the FLDS cult, an offshoot of Mormonism. Watch with care 🖤
To be clear, this isn’t about religion. It’s about cults, brainwashing, controlling people, underage brides, sexual abuse and r*pe of minors, forced marriage, etc.
“Real domestic abuse victims struggle, sometimes for years, to have their voices heard. They suffer at the hands of their aggressors, often trapped in toxic situations through lack of money, opportunities or the constraints of their culture.”
“For Heard to jump on the #MeToo bandwagon under false pretences feels like the ultimate betrayal, as did the fact that she lied about donating the proceeds of her divorce settlement to charity.”
“She gives all women a bad name, and in many ways undoes years of work building up credibility for victims of domestic violence. She claimed in her statement that the verdict was a ‘setback’ for women, but that’s not true: she is the one who has set back the cause for women. That, I’m afraid, is the hard truth she must now accept.”
This article is spot on. Thank you Sarah Vine for speaking the truth
Amber is now facing what Johnny had to live with for 6 years. In his case, it was unjustified. Amber lied and defamed him for publicity to bolster her career but, her plan backfired.
A perfect way of describing what most Domestic Abuse survivors feel about this case…
It’s not issue of gender. It was victory of good over evil. If you lie you have to pay for your lies.
Power comes from the act of abuse not from gender, race, age, position, wealth or fame.
Amber abused Johnny. Amber had power over Johnny.
Isn’t it time we buried the David & Goliath trope once and for all??
Finally! A journalist making sense! Sarah Vine watched the trial and reported truthfully! No gas lighting, no white knuckling criteria of what you need to be to be a victim, no blind eye to the fact that women can be awful, too. Imagine that. THANK YOU, SARAH.
You don’t speak for me. You don’t speak for victims. You are not a survivor of domestic abuse. You have the nerve to stand and talk to survivors as if you are one of us when you’re a perpetrator. Stand down. Walk away.
You don’t deserve this platform. Shame on the people who invited her to speak at a #MeToo rally when she was the abuser. Those who say it’s a step back for women I say no! This is a step forward for survivors and the world finally seeing that men can also be victims of abuse.
It makes me livid seeing her talk about her fake abuse. It enrages me to think that the women protesting and cheering were actually watching a perpetrator of abuse switch the story around.
And just like her, I won’t be mentioning her name. We all know who I’m referring to. But if I don’t say her name it could be anyone. No?!?
Heard openly mocked Depp for being a “victim of abuse”
Jurors also heard a recording of Heard allegedly pressuring Depp to come forward as a “victim of domestic violence” and suggesting he wouldn’t be believed.
“Tell the world, Johnny, tell them, Johnny Depp, I, Johnny Depp, a man, I’m a victim too of domestic violence,” Heard says, before going on to challenge him to “see how many people believe or side with you.”
Jurors were played recordings of fights, including one in which Heard admitted to “hitting” Depp.
“You didn’t get punched. You got hit. I’m sorry I hit you like this, but I did not punch you. I did not fucking deck you. I fucking was hitting you.”
Heard later apologized.
Heard testified that Depp got violent during their honeymoon in 2015, after an argument over his drinking.
“He would slam me up against the wall,” she said. She said she feared Depp would kill her.
A trip to Australia, where Depp was filming the fifth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise, featured prominently in the trial. Depp claimed his wife threw a vodka bottle at him, severing the top of his middle right finger. Heard claimed Depp sexually assaulted her with a whiskey bottle.
“It [was] so easy for him to throw me around,” Heard testified. Depp, she said, shoved a liquor bottle “inside of me over and over again” and “said he would kill me”.
If this actually happened she would have been in hospital. The stories she’s come out with are ludicrous and lacked credibility in my personal opinion.
For everyone saying that “Now that a jury has sided with Johnny Depp, advocates say the verdict could have a chilling effect on other survivors looking to speak out against their abusers.” I say this.
Stop speaking on behalf of women like myself who have been abused while in a relationship with my ex husband.I support Johnny Depp.
He was the victim. Women always fight to be believed. This will set us back because we will be asked if we are like Amber Heard. Heard and the ACLU demonised Depp without knowing any facts. Shameful.
Story time! I was on a date with a guy about 3 years ago who knew that the only superficial thing that was important to me is height because I’m tall. He lied and said he was taller than he actually was.
When we met I was taller than him and I was more annoyed that he lied to me than the fact that he was 5”6! We had a nice chat although I knew there was no way I was going to see him again.
He randomly asked how I felt about kissing on a first date and I said no but if I am into the person then on a second date I’d be in. I also reiterated that I was disappointed I had been lied to. We left the bar and I headed to my car.
Suddenly he said hold on! Is the first date inside the bar and the second one here outside? If it’s the second one I want to kiss you! I was like wow wtf dude!! I said again about the height lying thing.
He then went onto the sidewalk as I stood on the road about to get in my car and he said “I’m taller than you now and it’s like a second date, so can we kiss”!!
I made it clear that while he’s a nice person I’m just not feeling it and I wished him all the best but I wouldn’t meet again. He asked if I was dating someone else and I said no I don’t date more than one person at a time. He just couldn’t accept what I was saying.
He walked off. I sped home! The next morning my phone rang and he said “I’ve been thinking about our date last night and I don’t think it’s going to work out so I don’t want to meet up again”!!!
Some people feel the need to be the one to end a relationship or just a dating situation even though I’d already said the exact same thing the night before!! I just said uh-huh ok I already said this but yeah cool. And I hung up.
To be honest it was about the lying and the boundary crossing. When someone says they don’t want or don’t like or can’t go etc let them have their boundaries! Don’t force yourself onto anyone.
Whether someone is dead or alive we cannot just ignore the things they did that hurt people. He was known for supporting men who didn’t like women and expected the prettiest woman while they had almost nothing to offer.
He particularly had a thing for verbally attacking black women. This was a constant theme. They would ask for advice and he would immediately ask their height, weight, rated their appearance out of 10, earnings etc. And whatever they said he put a negative twist to it.
He did decent men a disservice and women became the focus of mens’ anger when they thought they deserved a certain kind of woman.
This video is an example of what I mean although there’s a lot more online on his YouTube page.
If putting women down was his specialty then he did it well. I wish he wouldn’t have had the chance to be so awful about women.
Diary of an OTD Girl 