I Am Not Allowed To Go To My Niece’s Wedding Tomorrow…

April 2016 was the last time I saw my niece. We weren’t allowed to talk to each other since April 2015 but we were both at an event and met there.

I’ll never forget the way both she and her older sister who were both young teenagers whispered to me when no one was looking that they would go to the bathroom and that I should follow a few minutes later.

I knew it would be a one off chance so I grabbed it with both hands. Looking around and making sure I wasn’t being followed I ran upstairs to the bathroom where both of my nieces were waiting for me.

I cannot begin to explain the emotions that went on during those next few minutes before we had to leave. They cried. I cried. They apologised for what was going on and promised they wished they were allowed to see me but had to listen to their parents

They hugged me tighter than I’ve ever hugged anyone knowing this may be the final time we met. The tears wouldn’t stop and I told them that I loved them and was the same person they always knew. I hadn’t changed who I was inside although I looked different. They knew I loved them. I hope they still know that.

I am fully aware of the rabbinic ruling given to their family making it very clear there was to be absolutely no contact ever again. And that stopped instantly. I tried to call and text and got ignored unti eventually I found out why.

I’m no longer angry with them.
I understand how much weight the words of a Rabbi carry.
I also know that they don’t know any different and for them having contact with me is categorically forbidden.

This niece is getting married tomorrow. I had no idea. Someone told me by mistake. I don’t think I was meant to find out. It hurts that I can’t be there to share in her special day…. And I have no way of contacting her.

I miss you…
I love you…
I wish I could be there tomorrow…
I’m sorry your parents have cut me out your life….

Mazel tov 🎉
Congrats 🥳

With so much love from your aunt 🥺❤️

#wedding #family #Rabbi #forbidden #niece #congratulations #ban #religion #cult

5 thoughts on “I Am Not Allowed To Go To My Niece’s Wedding Tomorrow…

  1. *hugs* I’m so sorry. It’s so difficult to have this kind of break.
    My Husband (grew up RWMO in a more RW/Yeshivish community) was rebelling and rejecting Orthodoxy as a teenager. His parents considered kicking him out of the house so that he wouldn’t influence the younger siblings. Fortunately, the Rabbi convinced them not to do this, and although the next several years were pretty awful, they repaired their relationship and we all get along quite well today. It’s so sad though that people really face having to give up their family and whole community.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This sort of things is not the norm, although no doubt it does happen. You have not said the other side’s rationalization. I doubt the rabbi’s motivation was simple cruelty.


    1. I understand that the Rabbi gave that ruling to them because of the fear they have that if they mix with secular people it will somehow possibly rub off on them. That’s pretty standard. I never said he was being cruel. He was doing what was the norm for him and the family in question.


    1. It is unbelievable that making a choice to leave a cult, closed community or secret world can end like this. I have 9 siblings and they all have kids who I don’t know and wouldn’t recognise if I saw them. Except for the youngest who does text me from time to time, none of them have spoken to me for years now…. It hurts. But that’s the kind of thing that keeps people trapped…. The fear of losing everyone you know.


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